Melissa Ardella Lowery Biddix

I am the great-granddaughter of Melissa Ardella Lowery Biddix.

That one line says a mouthful because she embodies who I am.

She was orphaned at a very young age when her Mama died and was raised by anyone who would take her in. Not a small feat when people had many children, times were tough, and it wasn’t easy to find people who could afford one more mouth to feed.

Ma married Marion Robert Biddix and gave birth to 13 children:
Ressie Roxana
Edith Estelle
Dora Elizabeth
Robert Carter
Sam
Jessie Viola
Geneva Frances
Alaska Mita
Mary
Martha
Marion Ardella
Graham Crite
Ralph Charlie

She would bury nearly half of them in her lifetime…

three who died shortly after birth and a flu epidemic in the 1930’s took two.

I cannot even fathom.

She worked hard… kept a large garden… cooked meals for her family… taught her children to love God… she was the quintessential Proverbs 31 woman.

My grandmother told stories of mornings with big breakfasts before everyone went off to work. Ma would pack the two of them a biscuit and some milk and they would head off to the garden. Ma would work while Mee Maw would play.

At lunch time, they would pull their lunch out from the edge of the water and drink cold milk, slice a tomato and have a tomato biscuit before getting back to work.

Then there was the infidelity. How do you survive when you find that your husband is having an affair? How do you live in a house with a man who broke the vows to love, honor and cherish you until death parts? I cannot understand the depth of hurt she must have felt nor can I fathom the level of forgiveness she bestowed on him. She never spoke ill of the other children that he had with this other woman. My grandmother told of one occasion when this woman became very ill. Ma gathered some soup and bread and went to her house. When Mee Maw asked her why, she responded that those children didn’t ask to be born into that and no good Christian would let them starve because of it. I cannot imagine that kind of love.

Later life was no easier for Ma. She became very ill and the cancer took its’ toll on her body. She spent her life struggling and spent her last days in a struggle as well and yet, my Mee Maw said that there was a peace about her.

Enough peace to speak to her children and assure them that life would be OK.

Enough peace to extend forgiveness for hurts that had been inflicted on her.

A simple tombstone reads
Melissa A Lowery Biddix
May 10, 1890 – April 8, 1963

Those few words etched in stone cannot begin to describe her.

She was a Godly woman, a devoted wife, a loving mother, a sincere Christian, and an example to those around her and to those who would come after her.

How do I know these things when I never knew her?
Because I breathe the very life that she struggled to make possible.
She taught my grandmother lessons that would carry on to my mother and then on to me.
She is a part of who I am as a woman.

She is the voice in the back of my head that says, “You have something to measure up to, young lady. Do not mess this up. Live with character and integrity. Leave this life with a name. If I can do that, surely you can too”

So I do and I wonder…
Would she see the children that we have adopted and would she be happy because she knows what it was to have no place to call home?

Would she watch me in the garden and smile because I do for enjoyment what she did out of necessity to feed her family?

Would she be thankful that my husband loves and respects and cares for me?

Would she be delighted that someday we shall meet face to face because I have put my faith and trust in the same Jesus that she did?

I would hope that she would see something in me that would make her proud.

I hope she would know that her investment in life made a difference and that the generations after call her blessed.